


Little Wonders

by pleasesetdanonfire



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Comics), Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Jealousy, Not Canon Compliant, Possessive Behavior, Slow Build, Songfic, Sparring
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2020-11-02 08:35:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20685866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleasesetdanonfire/pseuds/pleasesetdanonfire
Summary: (Not canon compliant to the comic, as much as I love that Joss let us have our Spuffy fix, I'm mad he ended it.)Spike is back, and he made no attempt to tell Buffy. Made no attempt at coming back to her? After EVERYTHING? Well, she'll have to do something about that.(SONG IS "LITTLE WONDERS" BY ROB THOMAS)





	1. Clarity

**Author's Note:**

> Let it go  
Let it roll right off your shoulder  
Don't you know  
The hardest part is over?  
Let it in  
Let your clarity define you  
In the end  
We will only just remember how it feels

_"Glad to see you two getting along so well." Buffy took note in the closeness of her boy - well...of Spike, almost pressed against the other slayer on the small cot. Caught the grins on both of their faces. She watched as he ducked his head, looking ashamed, and moved his arm closest to Faith away and across his lap, so not to touch her._

_"Yeah. You just know all the cool vampires." The brunette said, catching on to Spike's subtle hint and sitting forward to put more space between them. _

_"Yeah."_

_"Hey, aren't you usually at work by now?" Said "cool vamp" asked, whether to change the conversation or to hint for her to leave, she was unsure. And she didn't quite like the idea of the latter. She tried not to glare._

_"I kinda decided to cut back on my hours." The blonde nodded._

_"Buffy, is that you?" Dawn hollered from the top of the basement steps._

_ "I'm down here." She answered, so not to worry her little sister and to, hopefully, prevent herself from getting too worked up. As if having Dawn interject would keep her from lashing out at her allies for flirty behavior. "Figured I'd be better off focusing on what's going on around here." She stared pointedly between the two of them. It's not that she didn't entirely trust her vampire not-so-much boyfriend, but the formerly evil slayer had a past history of getting handsy with any guy Buffy had a romantic relationship with._

_"Willow just called from the hospital, the girl's awake." Dawn said from the doorway. Buffy's eyes went wide and she turned to the two on the bed._

_"Faith, can you stay here and try to help tend to the girls?" She asked. The aforementioned slayer nodded and made her way around Buffy and up the steps, Spike stood to follow them. Just as Buffy turned to leave the room, she felt an arm snake its way around her waist. Spike gently guided her back against his chest and leaned into her ear, letting his hand lay softly on her stomach to keep her there._

_"Wanna discuss whatever that was, pet?" He rumbled quietly. She tried to repress the shiver that ran through her body at his voice and the feel of his breath and lips against her._

_"Not now, I don't have time." She whispered, then tried to move forward. Spike didn't hold her there, simply just let his hand fall back, letting it lightly graze against the bottom of her wrist and the palm of her hand. She sighed in contentment at the gesture and turned to give him a look that was a fair mixture of exhaustion and desperation. "I don't want you getting too cozy with her." She tried to make her voice firm. The heat that blossomed in her body at the near predatory grin Spike offered her was almost enough to make her knees buckle. He stepped forward and wrapped both arms around her waist this time, pressing his body into hers._

_"Not her I have interest in getting cozy with, love. Wasn't even her we were discussing before you came in, guns blazing. Though, I thoroughly enjoy seeing you worked up and jealous over the concept." He bit his lip, and she swore it was just to drive her that much further around the bend._

_"I'm not jealous." At that she was rewarded with a chuckle and he turned his head slightly to the left. When he looked back at her he wore a soft expression, nothing but adoration in his eyes. He had been doing that often recently and every time it never failed to make her heart skip a beat._

_"Never gonna be anyone but you, love." His stupid blue eyes stayed locked on hers, ensured by him gently taking her chin between his index finger and thumb. " 'm all yours." He cocked his head to the side, as he always did when he was sizing her up. "Come on. You have a potential to be checking up on." He slid his hand down and led her up the stairs by holding just her fingertips._

* * *

_"People are always trying to connect to me. And I just...slip away." Buffy scoffed. "You should know..."_

_"I seem to recall a certain amount of connecting." Spike muttered incredulously._

_"Oh, please. We were never close. You just wanted me because I was...unattainable." Spike glowered, leaping to his feet at that._

_"You think that's all that was?" He demanded._

_"Please, let's not go over the past." Buffy all but begged, turning to sit back down on the bed._

_"Oh, no no! Oh, let's hold on here. I've hummed along to your pity ditty and I think I should have the mic for a bit." The blonde vampire stated matter-of-factly._

_"Fine, the stage is yours. Cheer me up."_

_"You're insufferable." He hissed, leaning forward, hands on his hips. _

_"Thank you. That really helped."_

_"I'm not trying to cheer you up."_

_"Then what are you trying to say!?"_

_"I don't know! I'll know when I'm done sayin' it. Somethin' pissed me off, and I just - " he sighed, "'unattainable,' that's it."_

_"Fine." Buffy sighed. "I'm attainable. I'm an attain-a-thon. May I please just go to sleep?" She begged, eager to end yet another frustrating argument. Spike just crouched in front of her with his hands on his knees and she tried to turn her face away so she didn't have to look into his frustrating honest blue eyes._

_"You listen to me." He knelt. "I've been alive a lot longer than you. And dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine. And done things I prefer you didn't. Don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred plus years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of. You." He reached up to rest his hand on her cheek and she turned away. Of course, there she goes again. Slipping away. Refusing connection. She mentally kicked herself. "Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything." At that, she slowly turned to meet his gaze. "When I say I love you, it's not because I want you. Or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are. What you do. How you try." He whispered. _

_Buffy couldn't breathe. He was looking at her adoringly again. Bearing his soul to her. She felt tears running down her face. She was terrified of what she felt for him in that moment. Terrified because she realized she'd felt it all along. _

_"I've seen your kindness, and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy." Oh god. She really couldn't breathe. Could hardly blink. Her eyes felt like saucers._

_"I don't wanna be the one." She mumbled meekly. Spike smirked and glanced off to the side._

_"I don't wanna be this good looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear." He quipped. Despite herself, Buffy laughed. He always knew what to say. Whether he was trying to piss her off, get her to admit something, get her to smile...he always knew. She felt a pang in her chest and crawled up the bed to lie down._

_"You get some rest now. I'll check back in with you before first light. If you decide what you want." Spike stood and turned to walk out._

_"Spike." Buffy sat up and the vampire turned to her. "Could you...stay here?" He looked slightly shocked but didn't hesitate._

_"Sure." They kept their eyes locked on one another for a brief moment. She could tell he was trying to read her, figure out what he needed to do next. He turned to the lounge chair next to him and sighed. "The diabolical old torture device, the comfy chair. Will do me fine." He mumbled, taking off his duster and tossing it along the back of the chair._

_"No. I mean...here." Buffy said quietly, and cautiously gestured to the bed. She scooted over to make room for him. "Will you just hold me?"_

_She didn't miss the shock, or the way his eyes lit up. He made his way to the bed and took his place next to her against the headboard. His right arm went around her shoulders and he placed his left on her knee as she rested her head against his shoulder and nestled herself in to rest. As time passed, the both slid down to rest a little easier. His right arm slid around her neck so he could cradle her shoulder and his left arm made it's way to rub at her right forearm as she rested her hand on his waist. He slid his left leg over her thigh, pinning her legs between his. She enclosed her left hand around the hand he had rested on her forearm, stroking his index finger softly with her thumb. _

_They lie there, staring into one another's eyes for what felt like hours. It was the most peaceful she'd felt in...well, in weeks. Here, wrapped up in him. She pressed her right hand more firmly against him and rubbed at his chest, causing a small smile to form on his lips. She took her time learning the creases around his eyes that formed when he smiled. It was then that she felt that familiar sinking feeling, her realization from earlier coming back with such clarity. She loved him. She was in love with Spike. She rested her head against his chest, trying to steady her breathing. She felt him press a feather-light kiss on the top of her head and felt heat course through her in the most terrifying way. Here she was, connected. Connected to someone who made her feel alive, at all times. No matter what. Made her feel warm, and loved, and cherished. Made her feel strong._

_When she was sure he was officially asleep, she let herself slip from his grasp. Her body screamed at her to stay put. To stay next to him. But, thanks to him, she knew what she needed to do. She made sure she scribbled him a note, to ensure that he wouldn't feel too betrayed by waking up alone. To make sure he'd come back to her. Then she slipped away._

* * *

_"Honey, you're home." Spike sussed as he entered the house, catching her eye as she made her way down the stairs_.

_"Yeah." Buffy felt a wave of relief wash over her. He came back._

_"And you did it. Fulfilled your mission. Found the Holy Grail. Or the Holy Hand Grenade. Or whatever the hell that is." He eyed the weapon in her hands with confusion._

_"Right now we're going with scythe. You like?" She held it up for him to see it better._

_"Well, pointy and wooden is not exactly the look I want to know better, but it does have flair." He smirked and looked to the living room, where a few potentials slept. "I can see why a girl would ditch a fella for one of these." He finished by looking up at her. She felt her heart sink at the hurt she saw in his eyes._

_"I'm sorry about that." She sighed, unable to hold his steely gaze, then turned and began to make her way to the kitchen for the back door. He followed closely_.

_"It doesn't matter. You're back in the bosom. All's forgiven. And, uh, last night," he turned to make sure he was in front of her, "that was just a glitch. A bit of cold comfort from the cellar dweller. Let's don't make a thing out of it." He couldn't look in her eyes and she felt another pang. He was going to treat their night together as if it had been just another fling to make her feel better. Like she had treated all of their past experiences._

_"Great. I have work to do." She rasped out, unable to meet his eyes._

_"Oh, yeah. Another solo mission, of course?"_

_"Yeah, it is."_

_"That's fine, you don't have to get shirty about it." He hissed defensively. _

_"I'm not shirty. And what is 'shirty'? That's not even a word."_

_"Alright, alright. Big secret mission. It's fine."_

_"It's not a secret. Well, I mean, it is. But that's the point of the mission, find out the secret. This thing was forged by...we don't even know. I mean, something about a tomb on unconsecrated ground. That's what I have to do. I need to find out what this is and why I have it."_

_"And that's the thing the preacher man was so anxious to keep out of your mitts?" Spike was eyeing the scythe all confused again._

_"That it is."_

_"Well, maybe I'll swing by the vineyard when you go, make sure he's sittin' tight." _

_"Great." She muttered quietly, though she hated the thought of that. Caleb was too strong and if he got ahold of Spike, Spike was dead._

_"Okay." He said, turning and making his way for the door. Buffy all but ran after him, trying to reach him before he got away._

_"You're a dope!" She hissed._

_"I'm a what?" The vampire yelled._

_"You're a dope! And a bonehead...and you're shirty."_

_"Have you gone completely Carrot Top?" He demanded._

_"Do you see this?" She lifted the scythe. "This may actually help me fight my war. This might be the key to everything. And the reason I'm holding it, is because of you! Because of the strength that you gave me last night!" The platinum blonde was looking at her and wearing that same shocked expression she had gotten used to seeing him in as of the passed 24 hours. "I am tired of defensiveness and weird mixed signals! Ya know what, I have Faith for that! Let's just get to the truth here, okay? I dont know how you felt about last night, but I will not-"_

_"Terrified." The vampire standing in front of her cut her off, glancing anywhere but at her, wearing a pained expression._

_"Of what?" Buffy softly demanded._

_"Last night was -" Spike shook his head and tried not to meet her eyes, but the second he did, he shook his head again and looked to the ceiling. "God, I'm such a jerk. I can't do this." He shrugged._

_"Spike?" The slayer coaxed._

_"It was the best night of my life." He met her eyes as he finished. "If you poke fun at me, you bloody well better use that -" he gestured to the scythe with his eyes, "cause I couldnt bear it. It may not mean that much to you, but -"_

_"I just told you it did." She said firmly. He just sighed and cocked his head._

_"Yeah. I hear you say it, but -" he rolled his eyes, "I've lived for soddin' ever, Buffy. I've done everything. I've done things with you I can't spell. But, I've never...been close. To anyone. Least of all you. Until last night. All I did was hold you. Watch you sleep. And it was the best night of my life. So yeah -" his voice shook as he spoke, "I'm terrified." _

_Buffy was a mix of emotions. She hurt, ached for him. But she was happy to hear him say everything she, herself, was too afraid to put into words. Happy to hear that her feelings were reciprocated, even if he didn't know how she felt yet._

_"You don't have to be." She offered. He cocked his head to the side again, his eyes lighting up as his blue eyes held her green ones. He gave her the smallest of hopeful smiles._

_"Were you there with me?"_

_"I was."_

_"What does that mean?"_

_"I don't know. Does it have to mean something?"_

_"No." He shook his head and her heart broke to watch the hopeful look in his eyes shatter as he looked away. "Not right now." He wouldn't look at her again. _

_"Maybe when - "_

_"No, let's just leave it. We'll go be heroes." He huffed as he walked out of the house. And just like that, she felt herself slipping away again_. 

* * *

Spike was back. He was working with Angel in LA. And neither idiot had even called to tell her. She found out through Willow, who got a call from Fred.

Buffy lie in her bed, her laptop in her lap, thinking back to every moment she'd had with the vampire before he gave up his life for them. She let every unspoken word roll around in her head until she felt sick. Just as she had when she first lost him. She replayed that moment, where she almost told him how she felt. That she loved him. Replayed the way he shut down and told her to put it off until later. To put their mission first. Only there wasn't a later. Because she gave him that stupid amulet. And when she finally let the words slip from her lips, he didn't believe them. It was too little, and way too late.

But now, now he was back. And he wasn't even trying to reach out to her? They finally have a "later" where they could discuss _everything_ without worrying about an apocalypse and he didn't come running? She clicked confirm for her payment for her plane ticket and shut her laptop, then turned to finish packing. If he wasn't gonna come to her, she'd go to him. And she'd kick his ass if she had to.


	2. Shine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let it slide  
Let your troubles fall behind you  
Let it shine  
'Til you feel it all around you  
And I don't mind  
If it's me you need to turn to  
We'll get by  
It's the heart that really matters in the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Slayer boards a plane.  
Spike is unsure what to do.  
Angel is caught in the middle.

"I don't know. Willow just gave me the heads up that she's on her way."

"Well, who told her?"

"I don't know who told her, Wes. But I'm not fond of her knowing that he's back."

"And why is that, exactly?"

"I wasn't in the room with whoever called her?"

"You know what I was asking, Angel, don't dodge the question."

"It's Spike, for crying out loud. He's a royal pain in the ass. And a bad influence. And she can do better."

"You know, sooner or later you're going to have to stop trying to control her."

"I don't try to control her. No one can control Buffy, believe me."

Spike could hear their hushed whispers from outside of Peaches' office doors. Stupid sod should really be able to tell when another vamp was in the vicinity. So, the Slayer was on her way to sunny L.A. just because he was back, huh? Well, isn't that interesting? So interesting his stomach felt like it'd turned to ice. Alright, so the Slayer would show up and, what? Rejoice? Kick his ass? Drag him back to wherever the hell she was laying her pretty head at night? Or would she tell him that she had found some new apocalypse for him to sacrifice himself in? Maybe she'd tell him that he didn't do it right the first time. Who the sodding fuck told the Slayer he was still alive? Who among her stupid Scooby Gang even knew he was still kicking? It had to be someone who kept in contact with Red. Oh, bloody Hell.

The platinum vampire burst through the lab doors and picked up the first piece of glass he saw, whirling it over the dainty brunette's head. The other two lab techs took off around him and ran out the doors.

"You stupid bint! You told the Slayer that I'm alive?"

"She deserves to know! You were clearly close!" He had to give the silly chit some credit, she didn't even flinch.

"You had no right, Fred! She didn't need to know that I'm still hanging around here."

"You...don't want to see her again?" Her tone had deflated and she was looking at him like he'd just kicked a puppy.

"Of course I wanna see her again." Spike ground out through gritted teeth. Fred was still staring with that same sad look. Or maybe it was disdain. He rolled his eyes. "I can't...I can't just pop back into her life, Pet. I was her sodding champion of the people. I burned for her. And for all her little friends and the good of the world. She said..." - he scoffed - "bleeding hell, it doesn't matter what she said in the end. All that matters is that it was all a cosmic joke and everything I did, my great sacrifice that had the power to reduce the Slayer to tears, is put to shame by the fact that I was spat back out on this God forsaken Earth."

"You don't think she's going to be happy?"

"I don't know. Learned a long time ago that she's off her rocker. I can rarely predict how she'll react to anything," he smiled up at Fred. "We've been through hell and back, she and I. That Sunnyhell crater was supposed to be as good a place to end our story as any." He raked a hand across his face and looked up at the ceiling. "What do you say after something like that? How do you go back to normal? Not that anything was ever normal with the Slayer," - another scoff - "she's bloody extraordinary." Fred gave him an understanding smile.

"The fact that she's coming all the way back here to see you proves that she wasn't ready for you to be gone, yet. I don't think she was ready for an end." Spike could only blink at the brunette dumbly, remembering those very words falling from Buffy's own lips during those last few weeks. Christ, he was such a stupid git sometimes.

* * *

"Well, where is he?" She put both hands on her hips and gave Angel an accusatory glare.

"How the hell am I supposed to know, Buffy? He just said he was going out. I don't have time to babysit Spike, I have a law firm to run."

"Yes, I see that. An evil law firm, full of criminals and monsters." Her stance hadn't even shifted, she just quirked an eyebrow.

"I'm the one in charge of holding the criminals and monsters at bay. I'm here to reform this place."

"Is that supposed to impress me? Because so far, unimpressed Buffy."

"No, it's not supposed to - look, I don't know where Spike is, okay?"

"He said he needed to blow of some steam! I-I think he went out to pick fights or hunt or something like that." Fred lingered nervously in the doorway.

"Patrolling. He's out patrolling?" 

"Uh, yeah. I guess that'd be the term for it." She smiled shyly.

"What's the name of the closest graveyard?" The Slayer demanded, causing Angel to leap up from the edge of his desk where he'd been lounging.

"What? You're gonna rush off to go probe through Los Angeles looking for Spike? At 10 o'clock at night? Is it that urgent? Why not just wait here until he comes back?" His look of confusion and frustration only served to agitate her further. She was lacking sleep and hadn't even gotten to take a shower after stopping at her hotel to drop off her luggage. And now Angel wanted to throw a fit. She took a deep breath to calm herself.

"Look, I would like to talk to Spike, alone. The last time I saw him..." - she took another steadying breath - "I have every right to see him and have a private conversation."

"I never said you didn't, Buffy. I just don't see why it can't wait until tomorrow." '_I'm not gonna punch Angel.'_ She wouldn't punch Angel right in his stupid, furrowed brow. She couldn't give Spike that long. Not when she was already so close. What if he left L.A.?

"I'm going." And with that, she got the name of the cemetery and how to get there from Wolfram & Hart from Fred and stormed out of the building, hoping she wasn't too late.

* * *

Buffy entered the gates of the cemetery and stopped, taking in the layout and scouring the tombstones and crypts for any sign of whirling leather or platinum hair. So far, nothing. She slowly made her way through the grass, listening and waiting to feel the telltale tingle on the back of her neck. '_Where the hell is he?_ ' She turned a corner around a mausoleum, heading further away from the gates, and heard a loud grunt, followed by a growl. Could have been any type of demon, so she tried to sneakily approach. Whether to avoid being caught by a demon or caught by Spike she was unsure. She ducked behind a wall, her answer was lying in wait on the other side of the crypt in front of her. Her skin felt clammy and her stomach had dropped. She decided she'd get a more stealthy approach from above, so she quietly climbed onto the first branch of the closest tree and leapt onto the roof. As she neared the top, she felt the back of her neck tingle and she could swear her heart stopped. But it could be any vamp, best not to get her hopes up.

"Whoa there, big guy! It's a good thing you're such a stupid sod, innit?" She could hear a fist connect with something fleshy. "Otherwise, this fight might not turn out in my favor. But, since you're so dumb and ugly, I'm gonna say I have the upper hand!" Buffy peaked over the roof in time to see Spike punch...whatever the hell kind of demon that thing is...right below its jaw, sending it tumbling back into a headstone. "Get it? Upper hand? That was an upper cut, mate." - he sniffed and rubbed at his nose as he straightened his posture, a move she knew well from whenever he would get cocky in a fight - "You probably didn't quite catch that pun because you're quite literally the dumbest git on the planet!" He delivered a kick to the demon's ribs as it tried to stand, causing it to crash back into the crumbled marble. '_Or maybe it was just an awful joke_.' She thought to herself.

"Maybe you're joke just wasn't very good?" Some girl with a dark bob-cut hairstyle approached Spike from the right of the crypt. Buffy ducked a little lower and tried not to make any noise. She wasn't another vampire, Buffy didn't feel any tingles.

"Oh, sod off, love. My jokes are bloody brilliant." He stuffed his hands in his pockets as the girl regarded him with a warm smile. Then she turned to the demon and swung down on its head with a slender katana. "Didn't need your help, you know. And I don't need you popping in and stealing my kills. I need a good rough 'n tumble every so often." The girl slung the sword back over her shoulder and into the sheath on her back.

"You're the one patrolling all over my turf, vampire. But, uh, if it's a little rough action you're looking for, you certainly know where to find a lady." She slid forward, smoothing the lapels of Spike's duster and glancing up at him unabashedly. Buffy wouldn't jump down and roundhouse this girl. _She wouldn't._

"Sorry, love. Not looking for that kind of tumble tonight." _Tonight?_ Had he slept with her before? Maybe she would jump down and beat them both into the dirt. Then again, Spike didn't belong to her.

"That's a shame. Not much out to slay and the night is still young. Could have used the company." She pouted. '_Oh, so this...girl...is a slayer?'_

"I could still use a good fight if you're willing to accept a substitution? Haven't fought a slayer in forever. And you showed up and stole my entertainment for the night." He shrugged, and she nodded.


End file.
